Archive for the 'Women' Category

21
Mar
12

Online Dating As A Man: From A Woman’s Perspective

Found this article at Sofiastry, via a link from WMASAW.

Sofia put up an OK Cupid profile posing as a guy and she talks about her experience.

Men constantly have to be on. Not only were my initial messages to girls necessarily concise and witty with a healthy dose of denigration, but every succeeding message has to be interesting even if – as in most cases – the girl gives you a minimal level of conversational material to work with.

SO very true. Seriously annoying to get absolutely nothing back in response and then have to try to come up with something witty based off a one sentence reply from her. And if its not greatly entertaining, you can forget about further contact.

Women are fickle. Even if a sequence of messages seems to be going really well, a woman will arbitrarily change her mind at any given point if you did not re-calibrate effectively, or her competing options are disqualifying you as a sexual candidate. This trait in particular made me really sympathetic to the hoops men have to jump through when acquiring a girl’s attention, even though most women have nothing to offer.

(Emphasis in original) And no matter the hoops you jump thru, it pretty much ends with nothing if you indeed got that far.

the fact that my profile (which indicates I’m a professional masturbator, who does drugs, seeks casual sex and lives with his parents) gets more attention than a relationship-seeking, professional who is being nice to girls, makes you wonder what fucked up mechanism is responsible for this.

I made a similar profile and the difference is truly night and day. Seems that not only will women reply to the profile of a cad, they send unsolicited emails to get your attention. But while it is entertaining, I honestly have no desire to meet a woman who seeks out such a man.

In the end, online dating is pretty much a waste of time. Yes that is pretty obvious, but I gave it a shot as my ability to “get out” is severely limited unless one counts parks, grocery stores or the playground at McDonald’s. Now I do know guys who have had success on the site, but these guys are admittedly cads who are looking for something very different from what I would want. I also know a poly who is/was on there and she had much success, but it doesn’t seem to me that a female poly really has problems finding people whether online or not.

02
Feb
11

This is a match? Seriously?

I signed up on OKCupid some time ago. I have had no luck at all from it. But perhaps its that somehow I can “match” women who have NOTHING in common with me. I go through there and see someone that matches fairly highly and then I come across a profile like this:

My Self Summary
Don’t contact me if you can’t do 50 push-ups in a row (real, quality push-ups). I have had complaints about this, but I am at the point where I just cannot stand the prospect of yet another disappointing first date push-up contest. Do not contact me if you can’t spell “grammar”; if you do not know the difference between “your” and “you’re”; if you use the term “irregardless”; or if you’ve said “for all intensive purposes” or “should of.”

I enjoy starting fights for no reason; gossiping about everyone on “The Hills” like I actually know them (Heidi is totally brainwashed by Spencer!!); and drawing anthropomorphic caricatures of rabbits. I’m an avid indoorswoman. In my spare time, I write free-verse, non-rhyming limericks. In elementary school, I was named “girl of the year” 8 years in a row.

I think perfect names for babies are Mercedes and Clooney, (f/m respectively), but this tends to change weekly based on what I read in Us!, lol 🙂 However, I think that actually HAVING kids is the ultimate tool of the patriarchy, and am hoping that Science will develop some sort of artificial womb.

To me, dating is like Fraggle Rock; specifically, the Doozers. They build and build, only to have their structures knocked down. But sometimes it’s fun to knock down people’s hard work, and I guess that’s what justifies it for me. I mean, come on. Life should be fun. That was the first sentence to my third master’s thesis, in which I mathematically proved that insult added to injury equals fun. I know what you’re thinking–how does the Coase Theorum play into this? That’s something I’ll save for our first date 😉

What I’m doing with my life
I really enjoy my job–I get paid to think all day. I do Indian law and commercial defense litigation.

I’m really good at
Casting a broad net. I’ve developed skills in SQL and asp.net, languages, law, gymnastics, fitness and nutrition (certified ACE during law school), and lolcat.

I grew up in Denver, went to undergrad here in Seattle, studied abroad in Spain, worked in DC and San Fran, and went to law school in Charlottesville. I opened a champagne bottle with a saber in Slovenia.

The first things people usually notice about me
My cape.

Also, I walk fast. Maybe it’s billing to the nearest 6-minute mark, but I hate inefficiencies. Why walk slow and/or block people that are actually trying to go somewhere (me)? I might “accidentally” elbow slow people when I pass, hoping that they might wonder if they shouldn’t be going a little bit faster or being more cognizant of their surroundings.

Favorite Books Movies, Etc
Books: Chief Joseph and the Flight of the Nez Perce
Movies: Rudy, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, About a Boy, Hable con Ella
Shows: Cougar Town, Arrested Development
Music: Nena Daconte, Alex Ubago, Juanes, Hilltop Hoods
Food: I like good food and good wine. I watch what I eat, but don’t have issues with indulging occasionally.

The six things I could never do without

Cats
Gym
Rhinestones
Heavy Muscle Radio
Calle Sesame
Slovenia

I spend a lot of time thinking about
What is Britney up to? Will Keynesian economics work for the Obama administration? What day is it?

On a typical Friday night I am
pretending I don’t speak English at a local bar.

You should message me if
To limit future inquiry from, to quote Old School, “the guy who probably won’t get in,” here are answers to some of the more frequently asked questions:

-yes, I can do over 50 real pushups;
-no, I don’t care or find it alluring that you feel you could beat me up;
-yes, everyone, including me, has heard of crossfit;
-Jan Tana.

-I’m looking for college grads and grad degrees. Just personal preference.

Seriously? She challenges people to push up matches on a first date? Umm, how f’ing childish is that? And she is a match for me?

Life should be fun. That was the first sentence to my third master’s thesis, in which I mathematically proved that insult added to injury equals fun. I know what you’re thinking–how does the Coase Theorum play into this? That’s something I’ll save for our first date So is that before or after the push up contest? But I guess it is good for her that she likes to workout because she also states she likes to start fights.

Its not OKCupids fault really. It can only go off of answers a person supplies to the various questions and the pool of AW is what it is. However, I’ve not exactly been thrilled by the experience so far. “Matches” like that don’t leave one with much confidence that there is anything out there.

10
Aug
10

POSTAGE FAIL!

I totally failed to put in the link to the original article for the prior article on Holly Hill. I have corrected that at the top of the item. Sorry all!

10
Aug
10

Career Advice: Young Women/Girls Should Use Their Vaginas?

Thats the advice of psychologist and author Holly Hill.

Holly advises that young women should use their vaginas in the same way that “Men use their biceps, models use their beauty, [and] massage therapist use their hands.” Holly’s advise is more towards a “Sugarbabe” than a traditional sex worker, part wife, part whore, but more expensive than both put together. Apparently Ms Hill was pulling in 1,000 a week as a “sugarbabe” which Hill defines as being “like a sex worker in many ways, except she only has a single customer. She also provides a lot more services, such as the three C’s: cooking, counseling and conversation.

Ms Hill is good looking to be sure, but not $52,000/year good looking and I think the guy could have kept another wife or several mistresses for that much money. But beyond that, just what kind of advice is this? I thought that the whole purpose of feminism was so that women didn’t have to resort to the power of their sex to provide for themselves. Though there has always been an odd exemption for women who trade sex for money. Somehow that is noble to the feminist mind, whereas trading sex for provision in a stable home is selling out to the man.

Actually, I don’t entirely disagree with Ms Hill. Using what she was born with is a good way to make a way in life. I would just argue that marriage provides far more for a woman than does this odd mixture of wife and a hooker. And my biggest problem is that she only throws in 3 Cs. Add in a fourth C for Childcare and I might find myself a sugarbabe!

28
Jun
10

Repost: The Wife Whisperer

The below article was not written by me, but by another much more eloquent than I am. However, after posting this, the feminasties came out and gave death, kidnapping and rape threats to its author so she pulled it. These threats no doubt come from the ranks of womyn who spend their lives and energies railing against rape and for the woman’s right to choose (so long as she chooses as they desire) This is a good post and deserves to be up and therefore I am reposting it. Enjoy!

Well, I’m going to get some heat for this one, but the analogy is worth pointing out. I can’t help watching the Dog Whisperer show without seeing that a husband can also apply the same techniques to his wife. The major theme that Cesar Millan tries to get across is that as a dog owner you need to show that you are the leader of the pack and that you want your dog to be in a “calm and submissive” state. Hmmmmm, sounds familiar, huh? Discussions from my post, Submitting Love, got me to thinking if only there was a ‘wife whisperer’ who could come in and teach husbands how to get a handle on their wives. Below, I will offer some suggestions that are adapted from Cesar Millan’s techniques.
If you are offended by my woman/dog analogies, please don’t start barking at me. It only proves my point. Afterall, how did women get referred to as ‘bitches’ in the first place.
Here is a clip where Cesar discusses how to give affection to a dog. As you watch, every time he says “dog”, put in “wife” instead. I think you will notice some curious similarities.

If you are only giving “heart and body” in your affection, you will be “dragged all over the place and she won’t care”. Sound familiar? Therefore, you also have to give “mind”. Notice the dog at the 1:53 mark. He says in that state, you can shower on all the affection you want, because she is being “calm and submissive”. He says most people share affection when the mind is, “excited, aggressive, tense, fearful, panicky, unstable; people unfortunately have a tendency to share affection in order to calm the mind down–that only intensifies the behavior. It says “I agree with that behavior”. So, in other words, when your wife is excited, aggressive, tense, fearful, unstable, etc., don’t share affection, it only intensifies the behavior.

The best thing to do may be just be to walk away and let the unstable moment pass until she then assumes the ‘calm and submissive’ state. At that point, lay on the affection. It’s positive reinforcement. The current cultural assumption is that when a woman is exhibiting any of those unstable traits, that you are suppose to console and comfort her. A man would be considered heartless if he walks away. Usually he is also considered heartless if he stays and says the wrong thing. So, what is a man to do? Often you just can’t win with either and unstable dog or woman.

I think it also depends on whether she is throwing a hissy-fit over something trivial or whether there is some tragedy going on such as: a death in the family, loss of job, etc. In those cases, affection is appropriate and timely. I am not saying that men should never give affection to their wives; I’m saying, “only at the right time”.

Here I found an article called, “How to Control Your Dog’s Behavior by Being a Pack Leader”. Below, I took some parts from that article and everywhere they wrote “dog”, I swapped in “wife/woman”. Some parts don’t apply, like “How to Put on a Choke Chain”. Believe it or not, I am NOT advocating that. Regardless, give it a read and you will see that it eerily makes sense. My extra thoughts are put in parentheses.

How to Control Your Wife’s Behavior by Being a Pack Leader

Is your wife doing a behavior that you don’t approve of? Does she pull you around? Do you feel that you can’t control her? Is it hard to take items (pretty things) away from her without being bitten (not literally of course)?To solve all the symptoms, we must get to the root of the matter. Your wife is most likely thinking that she is the pack leader, or at least she is confused about who is the pack leader. When you claim leadership, the wife is free and content to be a happy willing follower.

1. Good Reasons to be a Pack Leader
• Your wife will remain well-behaved, even around other women who may or may not be.
• Your wife will learn to respect your possessions.
• Reduces constant barking (or whining).
• Your wife will be less anxious and nervous.
• Your wife will be happier and more content.
2. Learn to Think like a Woman
• Realize that there are some areas where women do think like men, and some areas where they do not. This is important because often men will reinforce negative behavior without knowing it.
• Realize that women live in the present much more than men do. Just because a woman has done something for a while, doesn’t mean that she can’t change. In the same way, just because a woman has had a tough upbringing, or might have been abused, doesn’t mean that she can’t be rehabilitated into a loving, calm wife.
• Women do not have guilt or pity in their mindsets/thinking. If a man expresses these emotions, a woman will interpret them as weakness.
• Women can be given affection without being touched. A look can also convey affection.
• Women have different levels of excitability that they progress through. A problem woman that goes into a frenzy in certain situations cannot be corrected when she has reached her highest level of intensity. You must correct at the lower levels to prevent her from becoming out of control.
3. Learn the Pack Mentality
• Women have a pack mentality (or herd mentality). If you have a wife, you are a member of the same pack that she is.
• If a husband shows weakness when he first brings her into their pack, the wife will often try to become the pack leader herself.
• There will always be a pack leader. If you make sure that it is you, then you’ll be able to control your wife in any situation because they will look to you to see how they should react.
• A woman will try to become the pack leader if no one else is.
• Consider women in a pack (think women and their girlfriend cliques; think how one woman in that group always tends to be the leader and the other women follow whatever she does). Women are happier when they know their place in the pack. Your wife will be more content and happy when you consistently behave like a pack leader. If you allow your wife to be leader in the home, but want to be the leader in other areas, you will frustrate your wife. (The trick, as a husband, is becoming that one popular woman in the girlfriend clique who she will follow around).
• A pack leader … (I recognize some of these are more a wife’s realm, deciding about dinner, etc.)
Decides where the pack will go.
Decides when the pack will eat.
Decides who gets what food.
Decides who is allowed to bark (whine) and when (if at all).
Decides when the pack is allowed to play (decides when to separate business from pleasure).
• Decides what the pack is allowed to play with (decides who are appropriate friends that will exert good influences).
Decides how other members of the pack must behave (decides how the family should behave).
Decides who owns what.
The rest of the pack is not resentful of how this works. To them, it is normal. If you modify your behavior to fit to this model (when relating to your wife), your wife will be content because her pack is working the way her instincts say it should. ( I think that is particularly interesting, about how her instincts say it should work, NOT how society says it should).
When pack leaders correct children in their pack, they are rarely aggressive, but just assertive. Men must learn this combination of calm assertiveness to master their role as the pack leader
4. Be Calm and Assertive When Dealing with Your Wife
• Assertive is different than aggressive.
• If your wife knows voice commands, use them:
o Only in firm tones.
o Don’t use a high-pitched voice.
o Don’t speak in a cutesy voice, like you would to a baby.
o Do not speak in anger.
o Don’t say it as if you are asking the wife a question.
o If you give a command and you know your wife is purposefully ignoring you, stop giving the command, you’re just making it worse.
• If you have seen Star Wars, the “Jedi mind trick” is a good example of calm assertiveness. Not the waving of hands, but the firmness and calmness of the tone of voice.
5. Be the Pack Leader
• A less dominant man can become the leader of many much larger and stronger woman. It is a matter of attitude, not physical power or strength.
• Ways you can convey to your wife that you are the pack leader:
o Exit the house first when you go out. Enter first when you go in.
o Sit at the head of the table.
• Let your wife know what behaviors you, as the pack leader, don’t like.
• Be consistent to correct any behavior that you don’t want. Your wife will be confused if sometimes you correct her, and sometimes you don’t.
Other Tips
• Be assertive, but not aggressive.
• Do not yell at your wife. If you think you have to, you are doing something wrong.
• Share affection as much as you want, but only when your wife is in a calm, submissive state of mind.
• Women usually want to please men. Be consistent, so they understand what you expect of them.
• Be consistent. It will help your wife learn more quickly, and help them to trust you.
The last thing I want to bring up is that Cesar will often give a dog a little pinch when it is misbehaving. So perhaps a little pinch or squeeze of the hand will also do the wife good. Out in public, if she is getting too loud or annoying, or simply just not being respectful, give her a little sign that that sort of behavior is not acceptable. Works for me, and has caused me to bite my tongue. Sometimes it is also just a look. Come to think of it, don’t pinch—that will get you a DV charge–ha!

02
Jun
10

Laughable College Debt

So here I am reading an article about a woman who still owes 97,000 in debt for her time at an expensive college. The article is set up as a sob story and how the paper-mills are taking advantage of poor naive people and give us the example of one Ms Cortney Munna. Ms Munna took out over $140,000* in loans in pursuit of her “higher education” degree. None of this is new of course, many of us are already aware of the marginal utility of most college degrees. But the best part was her course of study.

10 points if you already guessed it….

Course of study: Religion and Womyn’s Studies

*exact total is unknown, but the article does say that she obtained a $40,000 loan after she “already amassed debt well into the five figures

20
May
10

Pedophiles: I Tried

I tried! I really did! My heart bleeds for these poor unfortunate women. I offered to slake their lusts but I see that yet another, by not taking up my oh so kind and generous offer, has gone after our youth.

Christie Elliot, it didn’t have to be this way!