Online Dating As A Man: From A Woman’s Perspective

Found this article at Sofiastry, via a link from WMASAW.

Sofia put up an OK Cupid profile posing as a guy and she talks about her experience.

Men constantly have to be on. Not only were my initial messages to girls necessarily concise and witty with a healthy dose of denigration, but every succeeding message has to be interesting even if – as in most cases – the girl gives you a minimal level of conversational material to work with.

SO very true. Seriously annoying to get absolutely nothing back in response and then have to try to come up with something witty based off a one sentence reply from her. And if its not greatly entertaining, you can forget about further contact.

Women are fickle. Even if a sequence of messages seems to be going really well, a woman will arbitrarily change her mind at any given point if you did not re-calibrate effectively, or her competing options are disqualifying you as a sexual candidate. This trait in particular made me really sympathetic to the hoops men have to jump through when acquiring a girl’s attention, even though most women have nothing to offer.

(Emphasis in original) And no matter the hoops you jump thru, it pretty much ends with nothing if you indeed got that far.

the fact that my profile (which indicates I’m a professional masturbator, who does drugs, seeks casual sex and lives with his parents) gets more attention than a relationship-seeking, professional who is being nice to girls, makes you wonder what fucked up mechanism is responsible for this.

I made a similar profile and the difference is truly night and day. Seems that not only will women reply to the profile of a cad, they send unsolicited emails to get your attention. But while it is entertaining, I honestly have no desire to meet a woman who seeks out such a man.

In the end, online dating is pretty much a waste of time. Yes that is pretty obvious, but I gave it a shot as my ability to “get out” is severely limited unless one counts parks, grocery stores or the playground at McDonald’s. Now I do know guys who have had success on the site, but these guys are admittedly cads who are looking for something very different from what I would want. I also know a poly who is/was on there and she had much success, but it doesn’t seem to me that a female poly really has problems finding people whether online or not.


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