Actually, because a lot of Christians do not think that the “Old Testament” or what they call “the law” is important, they miss a lot of G-d’s heart. Who do you think really wrote it? Was He just being whimsical and decided it wasn’t really important and that when His Son made atonement for sin, then anything goes?
He actually has quite a lot of instruction for sex in the Torah (1st five books – Genesis through Deuteronomy). There are whole sections that define it to only for marriage and the penalty for having it with non-marital partners or animals is death. If a man did take a virgin, then he was to dwell with her unless her father annuled it. Then there is the restriction to not do it while the woman is having her period. Actually, the restriction is for 7 days and then if her period goes over the 7 days, then it is 7 days from when it ends. The penalty for transgressing again is death. Orthodox Jews see it as 7 days from when the period ends, which would be 12 days on the average out of every month that they do not have sex. I’m sure Jewish men are as highly sexed as any other man on the planet but they see and acknowledge G-d’s wisdom in this design. The woman gets a little vacation every month, and in more ancient cultures they had a separate place they spent that week and they were served, so it really was a break for them.
The reason for no relations during the time a woman is “bleeding” is that the contents are the product of the death of the ovum. Semen is a product of life. The two mingling is a mixture then of life and death and G-d hates mixture. He says it is profane. The uncleanness is the death involved, not the woman herself.
A man who is obsessed on sex is probably a sex addict. If he is taking care of his own needs and has to have porn if he isn’t getting sex on a daily basis then there is a problem. It is not an indication that it is a need, but that the man is addicted to the chemical reaction that takes place. His choices to not control himself, but to engage in “pornea” (what it says in Matt 19) show that it is lust he is dealing with and not an actual relationship with his wife. Yeshua/Jesus said to look on a woman other than a man’s wife is sin, so that would be what porn is. If a man masturbates and then his wife actually desires the physical union, but he is not ready because he took care of his own needs, then he has defrauded her. A major part of the nations and the worship of idols was centered around sex if you study it out.
Yes, sex is designed as good and is important to a healthy marriage, but does that marriage become bad if something happens to one or the other partner that the sex part of the marriage is no longer possible? Our relationship is to be deeper than that.
If you study out where G-d made a woman for man because it is not good for a man to be alone, the word “alone” means lonely. Man’s true need is for companionship, and that is what will endure the whole life together. Another place where the man is to show restraint is after the birth of a child and it is 40 days after a male child and twice that for a female child. G-d is protecting the mother and child through that. The woman is more likely to conceive (scientifically proven) during that time until the hormones of nursing her child make her far less likely to conceive. The reason it is longer after a girl baby is because of the female hormones involved, the woman is more likely to conceive for that much longer. It is not in the best interest of the mother or the baby for the mother to be pregnant again right away. A man that cannot wait, is acting selfishly.
So G-d did put boundaries on the sexual relationship in a marriage. He does not want men engaging in lustful behavior (as they do in looking at porn and also in masturbating) He actually does want a man to seek Him first, just as He does a woman. If a man has to put aside his own physical desires, that does make him needy and that need is fulfilled in seeking G-d. That is a truly godly marriage relationship.
It has been expressed on these discussions and also the blog that is being discussed that the reason a man married the woman is for sex. That is not a good foundation and puts the woman in a position that G-d did not intend for her. A woman is so much more than a means of fulfilling a man’s sexual urges. She is the help fit for her husband. That means that she is the part that is missing and he needs her, not the sex. I believe that is one reason that G-d has set boundaries on the sexual relationship in marriage, so she truly knows that she is valued as a person and not just a sexual toy. A man could buy a blow-up doll if that is all he wants.
We are to speak the truth in love, so if the husband needs his wife to wear sexy lingerie, then he should communicate that very clearly in love, not use anger to get his point across. The blog mentioned, does look down on women, if you read through it enough to see it. I think that G-d had the man name all the animals before He made the woman for him to show that the human relationship is set apart from that of the animals. Yes, man has animal urges, but he has a higher calling to put those urges under G-d’s lordship and seek to have a higher relationship with his wife where he truly does love her more than himself. I can tell you that G-d never manipulates us. He says that jealousy and selfish ambition are earthy, selfish and of the devil, so He never uses those to cause us to love Him more. A man is made in His image, he should not do so, either.
I don’t agree 100% but there is a fine line that we Christian men must walk. While some portions of Game are good, others are not and each man needs to find that fine line between enough and too much.
Double-Minded Man's Blog 
