Repost: The Wife Whisperer

The below article was not written by me, but by another much more eloquent than I am. However, after posting this, the feminasties came out and gave death, kidnapping and rape threats to its author so she pulled it. These threats no doubt come from the ranks of womyn who spend their lives and energies railing against rape and for the woman’s right to choose (so long as she chooses as they desire) This is a good post and deserves to be up and therefore I am reposting it. Enjoy!

Well, I’m going to get some heat for this one, but the analogy is worth pointing out. I can’t help watching the Dog Whisperer show without seeing that a husband can also apply the same techniques to his wife. The major theme that Cesar Millan tries to get across is that as a dog owner you need to show that you are the leader of the pack and that you want your dog to be in a “calm and submissive” state. Hmmmmm, sounds familiar, huh? Discussions from my post, Submitting Love, got me to thinking if only there was a ‘wife whisperer’ who could come in and teach husbands how to get a handle on their wives. Below, I will offer some suggestions that are adapted from Cesar Millan’s techniques.
If you are offended by my woman/dog analogies, please don’t start barking at me. It only proves my point. Afterall, how did women get referred to as ‘bitches’ in the first place.
Here is a clip where Cesar discusses how to give affection to a dog. As you watch, every time he says “dog”, put in “wife” instead. I think you will notice some curious similarities.

If you are only giving “heart and body” in your affection, you will be “dragged all over the place and she won’t care”. Sound familiar? Therefore, you also have to give “mind”. Notice the dog at the 1:53 mark. He says in that state, you can shower on all the affection you want, because she is being “calm and submissive”. He says most people share affection when the mind is, “excited, aggressive, tense, fearful, panicky, unstable; people unfortunately have a tendency to share affection in order to calm the mind down–that only intensifies the behavior. It says “I agree with that behavior”. So, in other words, when your wife is excited, aggressive, tense, fearful, unstable, etc., don’t share affection, it only intensifies the behavior.

The best thing to do may be just be to walk away and let the unstable moment pass until she then assumes the ‘calm and submissive’ state. At that point, lay on the affection. It’s positive reinforcement. The current cultural assumption is that when a woman is exhibiting any of those unstable traits, that you are suppose to console and comfort her. A man would be considered heartless if he walks away. Usually he is also considered heartless if he stays and says the wrong thing. So, what is a man to do? Often you just can’t win with either and unstable dog or woman.

I think it also depends on whether she is throwing a hissy-fit over something trivial or whether there is some tragedy going on such as: a death in the family, loss of job, etc. In those cases, affection is appropriate and timely. I am not saying that men should never give affection to their wives; I’m saying, “only at the right time”.

Here I found an article called, “How to Control Your Dog’s Behavior by Being a Pack Leader”. Below, I took some parts from that article and everywhere they wrote “dog”, I swapped in “wife/woman”. Some parts don’t apply, like “How to Put on a Choke Chain”. Believe it or not, I am NOT advocating that. Regardless, give it a read and you will see that it eerily makes sense. My extra thoughts are put in parentheses.

How to Control Your Wife’s Behavior by Being a Pack Leader

Is your wife doing a behavior that you don’t approve of? Does she pull you around? Do you feel that you can’t control her? Is it hard to take items (pretty things) away from her without being bitten (not literally of course)?To solve all the symptoms, we must get to the root of the matter. Your wife is most likely thinking that she is the pack leader, or at least she is confused about who is the pack leader. When you claim leadership, the wife is free and content to be a happy willing follower.

1. Good Reasons to be a Pack Leader
• Your wife will remain well-behaved, even around other women who may or may not be.
• Your wife will learn to respect your possessions.
• Reduces constant barking (or whining).
• Your wife will be less anxious and nervous.
• Your wife will be happier and more content.
2. Learn to Think like a Woman
• Realize that there are some areas where women do think like men, and some areas where they do not. This is important because often men will reinforce negative behavior without knowing it.
• Realize that women live in the present much more than men do. Just because a woman has done something for a while, doesn’t mean that she can’t change. In the same way, just because a woman has had a tough upbringing, or might have been abused, doesn’t mean that she can’t be rehabilitated into a loving, calm wife.
• Women do not have guilt or pity in their mindsets/thinking. If a man expresses these emotions, a woman will interpret them as weakness.
• Women can be given affection without being touched. A look can also convey affection.
• Women have different levels of excitability that they progress through. A problem woman that goes into a frenzy in certain situations cannot be corrected when she has reached her highest level of intensity. You must correct at the lower levels to prevent her from becoming out of control.
3. Learn the Pack Mentality
• Women have a pack mentality (or herd mentality). If you have a wife, you are a member of the same pack that she is.
• If a husband shows weakness when he first brings her into their pack, the wife will often try to become the pack leader herself.
• There will always be a pack leader. If you make sure that it is you, then you’ll be able to control your wife in any situation because they will look to you to see how they should react.
• A woman will try to become the pack leader if no one else is.
• Consider women in a pack (think women and their girlfriend cliques; think how one woman in that group always tends to be the leader and the other women follow whatever she does). Women are happier when they know their place in the pack. Your wife will be more content and happy when you consistently behave like a pack leader. If you allow your wife to be leader in the home, but want to be the leader in other areas, you will frustrate your wife. (The trick, as a husband, is becoming that one popular woman in the girlfriend clique who she will follow around).
• A pack leader … (I recognize some of these are more a wife’s realm, deciding about dinner, etc.)
Decides where the pack will go.
Decides when the pack will eat.
Decides who gets what food.
Decides who is allowed to bark (whine) and when (if at all).
Decides when the pack is allowed to play (decides when to separate business from pleasure).
• Decides what the pack is allowed to play with (decides who are appropriate friends that will exert good influences).
Decides how other members of the pack must behave (decides how the family should behave).
Decides who owns what.
The rest of the pack is not resentful of how this works. To them, it is normal. If you modify your behavior to fit to this model (when relating to your wife), your wife will be content because her pack is working the way her instincts say it should. ( I think that is particularly interesting, about how her instincts say it should work, NOT how society says it should).
When pack leaders correct children in their pack, they are rarely aggressive, but just assertive. Men must learn this combination of calm assertiveness to master their role as the pack leader
4. Be Calm and Assertive When Dealing with Your Wife
• Assertive is different than aggressive.
• If your wife knows voice commands, use them:
o Only in firm tones.
o Don’t use a high-pitched voice.
o Don’t speak in a cutesy voice, like you would to a baby.
o Do not speak in anger.
o Don’t say it as if you are asking the wife a question.
o If you give a command and you know your wife is purposefully ignoring you, stop giving the command, you’re just making it worse.
• If you have seen Star Wars, the “Jedi mind trick” is a good example of calm assertiveness. Not the waving of hands, but the firmness and calmness of the tone of voice.
5. Be the Pack Leader
• A less dominant man can become the leader of many much larger and stronger woman. It is a matter of attitude, not physical power or strength.
• Ways you can convey to your wife that you are the pack leader:
o Exit the house first when you go out. Enter first when you go in.
o Sit at the head of the table.
• Let your wife know what behaviors you, as the pack leader, don’t like.
• Be consistent to correct any behavior that you don’t want. Your wife will be confused if sometimes you correct her, and sometimes you don’t.
Other Tips
• Be assertive, but not aggressive.
• Do not yell at your wife. If you think you have to, you are doing something wrong.
• Share affection as much as you want, but only when your wife is in a calm, submissive state of mind.
• Women usually want to please men. Be consistent, so they understand what you expect of them.
• Be consistent. It will help your wife learn more quickly, and help them to trust you.
The last thing I want to bring up is that Cesar will often give a dog a little pinch when it is misbehaving. So perhaps a little pinch or squeeze of the hand will also do the wife good. Out in public, if she is getting too loud or annoying, or simply just not being respectful, give her a little sign that that sort of behavior is not acceptable. Works for me, and has caused me to bite my tongue. Sometimes it is also just a look. Come to think of it, don’t pinch—that will get you a DV charge–ha!


18 Responses to “Repost: The Wife Whisperer”

  1. 1 irlandes
    June 29, 2010 at 6:21 AM

    I wondered why she pulled it and apologized. Thanks for the explanation.

  2. 2 LW
    June 29, 2010 at 10:00 AM

    Actually Dan, she did. She was also attacked over at freejinger where some of the members hoped for her to be beaten. They also over-hyped the last sentece of her post, claiming that she was in favor of wife beating and keeping women locked in crates.

  3. 3 michele
    June 29, 2010 at 1:05 PM

    Any male that needs to treat his wife like a dog in order to feel powerful is not a man but a pathetic weakling. A person gets respect by giving respect; regardless of their gender.

    I pity any woman that feels so much self loathing that she would marry a person and allow him to train and manage her like an animal.


  4. June 29, 2010 at 4:27 PM

    Well Dan, thanks for clearing all that up. If you hadn’t been there reading her emails and moderated comments, we would never have gotten to the truth of this. But seriously, you are quick to call BS but always short on the ability to back it up

    And then to add shaming language? Is that all the more you have?

  5. June 30, 2010 at 5:33 AM


    The example of Freejinger is either erroneous or the comments have been moderated. Such things do happen and such things could easily be perceived as against Rule #3 or even be done as a legal precaution.

    Shame is a wonderful tool. And it certainly does have a place in a properly functioning society. However, this seems to be the only tool in your tool belt. And when one resorts to shame time and time again in their arguments it evinces a lack of an argument, or perhaps the lack of ability to make it.

    I have never met Laura and so certainly am not her husband. I also do not have admin rights to her blog, nor access to her email so I have not verified such things for myself. I do have a firsthand report from Laura herself. I have found her to be a trustworthy source and have no reason to doubt that such things threats would be made against her. Others who have angered the feminist community have rec’d numerous such things, and do get posted. Places like The Spearhead and the blogger PMAFT have gotten such things and allowed them to be posted so for Laura to make the claim is entirely believable.

    So in summary, I stand by Laura and her excellent blog, and you haven’t offered anything to shake that. And by anything, I mean, truly nothing. You haven’t even proffered an argument yet.

  6. July 1, 2010 at 3:19 PM

    So… A woman rolled onto her back with someone “biting” her neck would be in the appropriate submissive posture?

    Love the concept of positive affirmation to support specific behaviors. At what point did that cease to be an acceptable method of adult interaction?

    Probably right about the time people started insisting that we “tolerate” everything.

    Honestly, there is so much of this that wouldn’t even be necessary if the person(s) involved are/were committed to respecting and valuing the other individual with whom they are blessed to share air space. Y’know?

  7. 7 Superpickle
    July 1, 2010 at 3:22 PM

    Her post is back up due to “OVERWHELMING SUPPORT”. Maybe the encouragement finally outweighed the “threats” and she decided that some things should be heard, regardless of how absurd some might view it.

    It’s a wonderful post. It is subject, however, to be blown completely out of proportions by people who live life as if every word written is meant to be taken literal.

    If women would just sit back and listen to what their insides say to them and do what nature intended we may not have a bunch of crazy bitches running around trying to rule the world with their pseudo testicles.

  8. July 1, 2010 at 8:13 PM

    So… A woman rolled onto her back with someone “biting” her neck would be in the appropriate submissive posture?

    I know more than a few women who rather like such things. And with the insane (inane) popularity of Twilight and various were-porn chic-lit I imagine it would be eagerly anticipated if coming from the right male.

    Don’t worry, superpickle. Your little pickle is perfectly natural. Funny, but natural.

    LOL@Dan. Superpickle is a girl

  9. July 1, 2010 at 10:34 PM

    Dude… That was NOT a Twilight dork reference. I’m just sayin’ that I can definitely see the dog analogy correlation on quite a few levels. I’m going to go off and sulk now.

    *wanders off muttering about gay vampires who sparkle and the idiot girls who love them*

  10. July 1, 2010 at 11:19 PM


    I would never accuse you of being a twilight fan. You have much to much sense for that. I was just expanding upon your comment and showing how women are happy to be dominated if by from the right man (or vampire or were-seal or whatever…) I intended it to be for Dan’s enlightenment

  11. July 2, 2010 at 11:07 AM

    I’m having a bit of trouble with this one… It seems to me that Godwin’s Law has been invoked, but can it be done indirectly?

  12. July 3, 2010 at 5:30 AM

    It seems, to me, that a woman is choosing to behave in a much more misogynistic manner when she chooses to advocate for the modern understanding of feminism than when she is able to find herself enjoying the blessing of being feminine.

    Trying to be something I’m not is exhausting and futile. Building on the strengths I have been given is a far better use of my time.

  13. 13 Superpickle
    July 4, 2010 at 11:37 AM

    I love the fact that I DO NOT have to wear the pants in my house. As a matter of fact just this year I did lots of trading pants for cute skirts and what not. I am quite at peace with myself taking the role nature intended for a woman, Dan. Perhaps it is YOU that hates yourself for not being able to live up to the expectation of kept woman who would GLADLY submit and allow you to be the man of the house without question.

  14. 14 Superpickle
    July 5, 2010 at 5:43 PM

    Well Dan, I see you as one of 3 things, A) You are really a women masking as a man to make women actually feel that the ideas feminists spread are GREAT ones. B)You are a lazy man that would rather have half if not all of your duties carried by your woman so you can skate through life without breaking a sweat(oh so manly) OR C) You are afraid to actually think for yourself out of fear you may not be in the popular crowd. It doesn’t hurt to think against the grain, or to think for yourself.

  15. 15 Superpickle
    July 6, 2010 at 3:17 PM

    2 thumbs up Dan. 🙂

  16. April 15, 2013 at 9:27 PM

    magnificent points altogether, you simply won a new reader.
    What might you recommend about your put up that you simply made some days ago?
    Any sure?

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