I’ve come across an interesting site called Shrink4Men and have been reading thru some of the posts there. I came across this post titled “8 Red Flag Dating Phrases that Should Send You Running” Some good info there and some of it should be patently obvious. Like the woman who refers to herself as a princess, or as a drama queen. Those shouldn’t even need to be said but I recognized some things in my PEW
6. “All of my ex-boyfriends/ex-husband(s) are jerks.” Wow, yeah. It wasn’t quite that they were all jerks, but that nothing was her fault. Now it is me that is the supreme evil one. I am now the source of all of her problems, even things that happened before we met and certainly everything that is wrong in her life now.
7. “I don’t speak to my father.” I would add to this one the relationship with mother as well. PEW definitely did not have a good relationship there. Not the worst by far, but some serious issues. Also, Shrink4Men brings up how the mother treats the father. I think that is a good thing to look at because there were some signs there as well that I tried to work with her to correct but damage was already done and at any rate was too late for me.
8. “I like it when the man makes the plans.” S4M notes on this one “For instance, she expects you to make all the plans and you inevitably choose something she doesn’t like. She then gets to tell you what a disappointment you are and you “never” do anything she likes.” Oh how I HATED this one. It was especially bad after marriage. She wouldn’t choose ANYTHING. Didn’t care what we did, didn’t care where we went to eat. Didn’t care if we stayed in or went out. But of course I was expected to know what it was she wanted despite her steadfast refusal to even voice a preference. So of course I could not do right because I hadn’t an inkling of what was wanted. Talk about a breakdown in communication! I don’t think this one is too obvious, but if S4m is right. If she is one that wants the man to make all the plans, that should certainly be a big warning sign that needs to at least be looked at.